The Crooked House of Windsor: Oldest Teahouse In England

The Crooked House of Windsor, built in 1687, is the oldest teahouse in England.

The Crooked House of Windsor, which is also known as The Market Cross House, is a unique Grade II listed building in Windsor.

Reconstructed in the 18th century, the historic structure is tilted at an awkward angle that seems to defy and even taunt the laws of gravity.

The council decided to use the cheapest possible wood it could find to construct it - green oak.

This is what makes the house crooked as the wood dried out and buckled, meaning that the frame formed an oddly structured shape that we see today.

However, the building has not always been tilted!

During its lifetime, the incline structure has played host to many different businesses over the years.

The actual building dates back to 1687, but it was reconstructed in the 18th century.

It was originally built on the edge of the town’s market square – thus its older name of the Market Cross House.

Originally, the structure was rented by a butcher because the area used to be the town’s meat market.

During the late Victorian Era, the shop was called Royal Standard beer shop and it was also a florist in the 1960s.

The original iteration of this structure spent its first 100 years as a normal commercial building.

That is, until 1687, when the town council ordered the building to be torn down in order to make room for the neighbouring Guildhall.

Incidentally, the Guildhall was designed by Sir Christopher Wren, most famous for being the architect of St. Paul’s Cathedral in London.

A legal battle ensued which resulted in the council being rebuked for destroying the beloved Market Cross House, and ordered to rebuild it just the way it was.

(The picture above is from 2016, when it was used as a luxury jewellery store).

The local council rebuilt the structure as quickly and as cheaply as possible.

Unseasoned green oak was used rather than a sturdier wood - so once the wood dried out, it buckled and warped.

Eventually, the house settled into its characteristic lean that you see today - but there is an alternative hypothesis as to how the house became crooked.

Some historians point out that the structure remained at a straight angle up until the 1820’s.

This was because it was sandwiched in by adjoining buildings, which would have supported it. But when these buildings were demolished in the 1820’s the house had no side support and began to buckle and twist.

It’s also said that the Crooked House acquired its warped shape due to its proximity to Windsor Castle and the town's high-traffic area.

The story suggests that the building's wooden frame gradually shifted due to the vibrations caused by passing carriages and horses, resulting in its crooked appearance.

Apart from the building’s crookedness, another interesting feature about the Crooked House of Windsor is the secret passageway (now blocked) that connected it to Windsor Castle.

Produce from the market could be delivered directly to the kitchens of the castle via this hidden passage under the butcher’s shop.

But it has also been said that the passageway was used by King Charles II for illicit trysts with his mistress, Nell Gwyn.

‘Pretty, witty Nell’ was one of the king’s 13 mistresses and a comic actress.

The Crooked House has been used for a variety of businesses over the years.

Among other things, the building has been a jeweler’s, a gift shop, an antique shop, and a popular tear house in different periods of its history.

Someone who recently visited the Crooked House of Windsor, in October 2023, wrote positive things about her experience on TripAdvisor.

She said: “The place is filled with great energy, it's safe to say that it lives up to its name, the house really is crooked.

”We've ordered a bottle of lovely red wine, our waitress was called Ellie and her service was excellent! She recommended a charcuterie board, which went very well with our wine and I absolutely loved their chilli honey.”

Another person added: “I'm having brunch in a darling wonky little cafè in Windsor and they have MARMITE & CRUMPETS with perfectly poached eggs and very finely grated cheddar!

Brought out by the chef! Reasonably priced too. Best coffee I've ever had in England.”

If you’re planning a visit to the Crooked House of Windsor, it’s also worth seeing Windsor Castle - the oldest and largest occupied castle in the world.

No trip to Windsor could possibly be complete without a visit to amazing castle, the family home to British kings and queens for over 1,000 years and today one of the official residences of His Majesty The King.

You can visit the magnificent State Apartments to see ceremonial rooms that are used today by the Royal Family for official visits by Heads of State from other countries, investitures, and awards ceremonies.

You will also be able to explore historic rooms, built for Charles II and his Queen, Catherine of Braganza, which follow the pattern established in English palaces over hundreds of years.

The State Apartments are furnished with some of the finest works of art from the Royal Collection, including paintings by Holbein, Van Dyck and Rubens.

Take in the splendour of St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle, the burial place of 11 monarchs including Queen Elizabeth II, Henry VIII and Charles I and one of the finest examples of Gothic architecture in England.

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